Even though it was a sunny afternoon outside, Brenda felt the darkness continuing to surround her. Over the past month, since her breakup with Allan, Brenda had lost 10 pounds, withdrawn from all her friendships, called in sick at work 6 times, and had no motivation or desire to go on living life. The shock she felt when Allan told her he had been seeing someone else for the past 6 months, took everything out of her. Crumpled up on the couch with her cat, she replayed the tapes of their breakup in her mind over and over again, wanting to shut them off, but couldn’t. Brenda was stuck on a sinking ship and wanted to find solid ground before she sank.
Are you hurting like Brenda? Has your heart been ripped into pieces? Are you doing everything you can to try and find those pieces and put your heart back together again…but it’s not working? Are you falling into the pit of despair but don’t want to hit bottom?
Broken hearts hurt… and they hurt really bad! Surviving a breakup or loss takes a lot of courage and strength to get through; something hard to do in the midst of all the pain, agony, anger and tears.
Hope is on its way! You can make it through this heartache in your life as impossible as it seems, and you will be able to move on if you choose to! If you are looking for a place to start, here are 10 tips for surviving your breakup!
- Allow yourself to feel! These are your feelings and they need to come into the light so you can acknowledge them. They will help you to heal faster!
- This is the perfect time to develop and renew the relationship you have with yourself. Remind yourself how awesome you really are!
- Pamper yourself physically. What is your body asking you for? Nutrition, more sleep, exercise? Give it whatever it needs right now.
- Be your own best friend; kind, loving and gentle to yourself
- Allow ONLY positive self-talk. Negative self-talk is not helpful to you.
- Put your support network in place. Who do you have to support you through the process?
- Find distractions; new hobbies, trying new things, continue to grow, even though it may be challenging at times.
- Keep your social connections. Constantly withdrawing from those who care about you will not help in the healing process.
- Stay connected with your Higher Power, for me it is God, and ask for help and strength.
- Remind yourself this is only temporary, you will recover, you will be restored and you will be happy once again! You are a SURVIVOR!
All 10 of these tips are helpful and useful in surviving a breakup! My favorite and one I would begin with is focusing on “positive self-talk!” We are so good at allowing negative self-talk to fill us to the brim and we are experts when it comes to beating ourselves up! Many times we will blame ourselves for the breakup and end up living in a world of “if only’s.” “If only” I would have spent more time with them, “If only” I would have not taken them for granted, “If only”… (you fill in the blank.) These “If only’s” can take over and consume you as you rehash over and over the circumstances surrounding the breakup and what you could have done to prevent it!
If we spend more time focusing on the strengths we still have going for us and the positives in our life we can still hang on to…negative self-talk will get snuffed out because we will have no room for it! Positive self-talk is productive and healing, negative self-talk serves no purpose and is not helpful in our recovery process.
You are very special…so be your own best friend during this process…and remember it’s temporary and the light will shine brightly again in your life! I want you to be happy in life and I want you to have the relationships you are so longing for. If you are struggling with a breakup right now or have struggled in the past…I would love to hear your story!
0 comments