“Sandi woke up one morning and wondered why she felt so alone in her marriage. Gone were the days of waking up together and feeling his fingers gently combing through her hair. Gone were the days she and Jordan would sit and talk for hours about whatever topic came to mind. Gone were the days of doing things “together,” watching TV, teasing the dog, walking the trails, laughing or cooking and eating dinner as a duo. Gone were the days she longed to be with Jordan. Gone were the days of closeness and security.
Unlike it used to be, she goes to sleep in an empty bed then wakes up with nobody next to her in the mornings and it feels so lonely. Jordan likes to stay up late so he sleeps down the hall in another room with his best friend, Charlie, the dog. Of course, its all under the guise of not wanting to disturb her. Sandi longs for the man she once had, the guy who would hold her and, tell her how beautiful she was and make her feel like she was the best thing in his whole life! But things have changed and now she comes home to a man who naps the evenings away in front of the TV, plays on his cell phone and iPad or works in his office. The evenings are spent in opposite ends of their seemingly large house and rarely do they even eat dinner together because they are just too busy… too busy to feel the hurt, so they tell themselves.
They used to call themselves “best friends”, but she doesn’t really tell him the things she tells her best girlfriends anymore. Their busy schedules keep them from fighting or arguing because communication usually occurs as they are passing by each other in the hallway. They don’t seem to have the same interests as they once did or want to even do the things that used to make them happy. Sandi still loves Jordan, and she think he loves her, but now, she feels like they are just roommates and neither one is happy, to say the least. Sandi couldn’t pinpoint when the gradual downward changes started, she said “they just happened.” Now, Sandi’s feelings of loneliness and isolation are driving her to do something about her situation, she wants a “Relationship Rescue!”
I loved talking with Sandi because her marriage was a shining example of where many of our marriages end up these days…dry and dull. We start off strong and after years raising kids, coping with challenges and just plain “Life” …things change up a bit, we adjust and keep changing until this slow progression of change “away from each other” smacks us in the face! We wake up and the “roses” are gone and we don’t know where they went!
There is good news though!” With some effort, you can get your bouquet of sweet smelling roses back! If the two of you know the love is still in there, somewhere, and want the fun and sparks to fly again, take these three simple steps to reclaim “the adventure and fun” you have waiting ahead, just for you!
- Start talking again! Have a discussion with your spouse and let him/her know you want to be more than roommates! Let them know how willing and ready you are to start! Then talk about how you can make it happen…together, map out a plan!
- Realize, while life’s circumstances may have changed the way you do “marriage” right now, it doesn’t have to stay as is. You both have the ability to make the changes needed to have a more fulfilling marriage…for both of you!
- Take initiative to put your changes into action. Make the necessary adjustment! Don’t wait for your spouse to make the first attempt, you show them how it’s done and they will follow your lead! After all, they want a more fulfilling marriage too!
If together, you put effort into changing the way things are right now in your marriage, you will be back to having the marriage you have been missing out on for so long! This can be an exciting time in your marriage for both of you as new goals are being set, new interests found and the best part…you have the ability to become “best friends” again!
Don’t delay another day…today is the best day to start! It all starts with YOU! Be the initiator! Start talking, make some needed changes and take action! It could be one of the best choices you have ever made for your relationship! If you know anyone who could use a little jump start in their marriage, please send them the link with these three simply steps to getting back on track!
Are you living like roommates right now? I would love to have you share your story!
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