Jack will never forget the day his new co-worker, Gretchen, caught his attention! She came up to his desk to talk about the days schedule and she ever so gently. put her hand on his upper arm while she was talking. His body froze and he couldn’t stop thinking about her hand touching him. For the next few days Gretchen was all he could think about. His thoughts, led to more conversations between the two of them in the office. Then, the coffee breaks in the office became lengthy Starbucks runs together. Next were the lunches out, the drinks after work, and one day…her condo.
Jack had been happily married to Susie for 9 years, they had 2 young kids he adored. Looking for an affair was not on Jack’s agenda! He didn’t see it coming until it hit him right in the face when Susie’s best friend happen to see them walking into Starbucks holding hands. When he saw his wife’s best friend staring right at them, he didn’t know what she had seen. Did he see him give her a little peck on the cheek, the hug? What did she see, it was driving him crazy. He pretended not to see her…and they left. Jack knew at that moment he had been caught, he had to stop seeing Gretchen and there was going to be a volcanic eruption when he got home that night…Jack was right!
Jack pushed the limits and caused a lot of hurt for everyone involved. He didn’t want it to happen, but it did. Did he see any of the warning signs coming right at him…probably! Did he have a plan put together to “affair proof” his marriage and protect himself…probably not!
The facts are astounding, 1 in 4 married men wind up in the arms of another woman physically or emotionally at some point in their life! Let’s face it, men, just like women, are vulnerable and susceptible and need to protect themselves from the many lures the world has for them every single day! The short skirts, the wedge heels and the low and flowing chiffon ruffled blouses, all suitable for the workplace are all right in front of you! Add in the sexual innuendos, the innocent touch, porn lurking right at your desk with a single click, business lunches and office parties with the opposite sex…you are walking target, every day! It doesn’t matter if you work in an office, factory, school, hospital, the home, church or restaurant…NO MAN IS IMMUNE to these lures! Throw in the single gals (or married) on the hunt for love, the lonely next door neighbor or friend: ITS ALL AVAILABLE TO YOU whether you want it or not! It comes with a huge price; the destruction of lives, many lives, sometimes even our kid’s lives, so why not be proactive. Don’t end up like Jack who now only sees his kids on Wednesday nights and every other weekend.
I am all about rescuing relationships and the issues are much easier to work through before the “other woman” has entered the picture. Believe it or not, you do have control in this arena. I read a great article by Brett and Kate McKay, “The Art of Manliness,” wherethey discussed 14 ways a man can affair proof his marriage. While a lot of these are common sense and obvious, its always good to refresh yourself. Here are the fourteen ways a man can “affair proof” his relationships or marriage:
- Make your marriage #1
- Keep dating your wife
- Quit porn
- Focus on romance
- Initiate affection
- Spend time talking
- Have sex regularly (no surprise to anyone there)
- Share a common interest
- Have a sense of honor and duty
- Set boundaries
- Evaluate your vulnerabilities
- Avoid temptations
- Know if you have crossed the line into something more
- Think about the consequences”
I have found, when husbands put their wives at the top of their priority list, the rest pretty much follow suit! The dating, the romance, affection, honesty, communication, regular sex and fun together are just ROI because you have prioritized and invested wisely!
When you have such a wonderful relationship, why would you want anything to attack it? My recommendation is simple: BE PROACTIVE, PUT A PLAN IN PLACE TO PROTECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND YOURSELF…NOW before its too late!
Make sure you fully equip yourself with the necessary tools you need to fight off the temptations attacking your vulnerabilities! BEGIN by asking yourself this question:
WHAT ARE MY VULNERABILITIES? Once you recognize them, put a put a plan in place to protect yourself from these vulnerabilities, because no man, or woman, is exempt from the lures of this world!!!!!!
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