I wanted to share the first one with you today to help you determine if this might be one of the roadblocks in your own relationship. You might remember I started talking about Kellie and Mike when Introduced the 5 Most Common Roadblocks in an earlier post. When I first talked with Kellie, she didn’t realize this was NOT the end of her relationship with Mike or her marriage. She and Mike had just come up against one of the 5 Most Common Roadblocks when it comes to relationships, “Unrealistic Expectations!”
She was swimming in a sea of unrealistic expectations and was starting to sink! These were expectations Mike had unknowingly placed on Kellie because of his past experiences with his mom growing up. It’s no wonder Kelly was miserable and wanted out because no one could live up to Mike’s expectations, not in this day and age!
Now, let me share with you some more about the first Roadblock, Unrealistic Expectations…
We all want the fairytale relationship in our marriage, with our partner, our kids, at work, and even with our friendships! Often times we put relationships up on a pedestal and set high (and usually unrealistic) expectations that cannot possibly be met by the other person. When the bar has been set this high, our spouse, significant other, or family member doesn’t have a chance to deliver on our expectations and so we are disappointed, let down, and both of you start building up resentment towards each other because no matter what, one person is NEVER satisfied! Enough is never enough and our self-esteem and energy start to suffer.
Perfectionists, often unknowingly, are experts at setting unreasonable expectations…creating a lose–lose relationship instead of a win-win! But you can do yourself a huge favor by making those expectations realistic for both of you!
I constantly see people placing “unrealistic expectations” on their relationships because of preconceived ideas on what they think marriage, parenting, or being in a relationship should look like! We may have read about it, seen it in movies, watched our parents, listened to friends or others, and determined what the relationship would look like before we ever meet the other person! Unrealistic expectations are unfair and play total havoc on the relationship. But there is a solution to this problem…
To bust through this road block, first determine if “unrealistic expectations” are putting up a roadblock in your relationship. If so, discuss and identify what these unfair expectations are so they can be eliminated from the relationship!
The good news is that “ROAD BLOCKS” are just red flags in a relationship, vying for our attention and telling us there are changes that need to be made for it to be healthy! They are nothing more than a temporary barrier that we can get rid of in our relationships once we know they are there!! Can you identify with Kellie and Mike? Do you feel like someone is placing “unrealistic expectations” on your relationship? I would love to hear about some of the unrealistic expectations you are experiencing. I’m sure others will be able to identify with them…
Over the next several weeks, I will share with you the other four roadblocks I discovered from working with broken relationships for many years.
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