Nobody likes to grieve…I know I don’t and I’m sure you don’t either…
WHAT IS THE GRIEVING PROCESS? The grieving process is a cycle of stages we need to go through any time we suffer a loss, whether it be a job, a relationship or a dream!
It consists of emotions we need to process in order to heal from our pain. If we try to rush through the stages, these stages will come back for a visit when you least expect it!
I really like this saying by CS Lewis, who points out, grieving really doesn’t make any sense!
“In grief, nothing stays put. One keeps emerging from a phase. But it always recurs. Round and Round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope, I’m on a spiral. But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?”
In other words the grieving process is crazy and unpredictable! You never know when its going to sneak up on you…and it does when you least expect it…I I know…I’ve been there!
These are the stages you will go through as you grieve your breakup:
- DENIEL – I feel fine, this cannot be happening, at least not to me.
- ANGER – Why me? This cannot be happening to me! This is not fair!
- BARGAINING – I will do anything to keep us together.
- DEPRESSION – What’s the point in moving on, I can’t go on, I miss him/her so much.
- ACCEPTANCE – I know we are not getting back together but, I know I will be ok.
Grief has a mind of it’s own, and sometimes it’s a beast… and these stages come when they want to… in no particular order… and it’s different for every person!
There is no way to predict how long each stage will last because grief comes and goes just as it pleases, welcome or not!
Embracing each stage as it comes (whether the process takes a week, a month, many months or a year plus) will allow you to heal even the deepest hurts. Always remember the three “N’s” when it comes to grieving your loss or breakup:
GRIEF IS NORMAL
GRIEF IS NATURAL
GRIEF IS NECESSARY
In the midst of your heartache, there is hope for you! Hope you are going to make it through this season,hope you will survive, hope you will be able to move forward! As you work through these stages, please know…happiness and joy will once again be a part of your life! I want you to be happy again!
For those going through a breakup…See my blog post on… 10 tips for surviving a breakup xxxxlink
Are you trying to work through the stages of grieving. What has been your greatest challenge?
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