BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO! There is no easy way around it. Its uncomfortable, its painful and it just plain stinks! You may be hurting right now if you are going through a breakup, and I want to help you to ease your pain! There is hope…you can make it through the breakup and come out a stronger, better YOU!
Ask yourself these questions:
Where am I in the breakup process?
Am I strong enough to work through this… when healing seems miles away?
Do I have what I need to get out of this downward spiral?
Am I actually grieving my breakup right now?
Believe it or not, “grieving” is not a bad word, it’s a necessary word…and grieving is what enables us to move on! Right now you may find yourself working your way through the natural process of grieving your breakup and it’s OK…it means you are in the healing process!
HOW DO I GO THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS?
We often hear…”don’t rush the process; the healing comes through the process!” Its true, grieving your breakup can’t be rushed as badly as we want the process to be over. It takes time to work through each of the emotions and past hurts as they come to the surface. Why? Because if you address and work through each emotion, the chance of it coming to the surface in future relationships is reduced or diminished!
The First Step … ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL
When it comes to the BREAKUP grieving process, I have found women can be at opposite ends of the “FEELING” spectrum!
There are those who rush the process just to get through it like a “to do check list.” The ones who rush though never quite find peace because past issues continue to arise when they least expect it and they don’t know why. They force themselves to feel, just for the sake of checking it off the list. Many of the issues surrounding their relationship and breakup, have never been addressed but stuffed down inside their heart, only to resurface and cause issues in their future relationships.
At the other end of the spectrum are those who don’t even want to attempt to go through it, they ignore it and don’t look back because looking back would be too painful. They don’t allow themselves to feel a thing…and those feelings and emotions do come out when they least expect it…in future relationships. Not a very healthy way to work through a breakup.
Then, there are the gals in the middle, who acknowledge the hurt they are experiencing, by allowing themselves to feel the emotions, to cry, to be sad, to feel anger as each emotion comes to the surface, as painful as they are.
Either way rushing through or ignoring what you are going through is not the answer!
What is the answer? Taking the time to allow yourself to acknowledge what your heart is telling you… is the best answer!!!!!
You see, a breakup is a loss, is about losing someone you cared for deeply at one point. It’s also about secondary losses too; those lost expectations, lost dreams and lost hopes. The potential you both had for happiness and everything you had planned for in the future didn’t happen…and its leaving you feeling devastated. It doesn’t matter who broke up with who…there are disappointments all the way around, even small ones, because the relationship did not go as planned.
Because of loss and disappointment, the grieving process must run its course. Its normal, expected and it’s OK! For some, it is naturally a fast process and for others, well, it takes a while before they are ready to jump into another relationship.
So the bottom line ladies…ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL…ITS HEALTHY AND HEALING…AND…your future relationships will thank you!
For more on the STEPS TO GRIEVING A BREAKP…click here xxx
Are you taking the time you need to grieve over a loss or beakup?
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