I was sitting by the water following my realization that morning, that the diagnosed had consumed my entire being and I was not in a good place. I was talking to a friend I am very close to about my realization and situation and she asked me a very simple question. This would be the question that would change my focus and perspective on my circumstances, the way I viewed or looked at my situation. “Lorrie, what are you getting out of running away or pretending everything is ok, you can be sad, and you can show it, it’s alright” she said? Be strong for them and be your true self to me. That is all she had to say and my perspective changed! I realized everything wasn’t OK and I had been stuck in a place of denial, a I no longer wanted to be a part of…. and I was going to figure a way out!
I could wallow in the uncertainty of my mom’s diagnosis OR I could embrace the time I had left with her (nobody knew for sure how long that would be) and I could live it with hope and encouragement, hope that chemo would buy her more time, hope she would be cured, hope for another day, week, month, year and hope I would be the best daughter she could have ever wanted! The choice was mine to make and I chose to embrace each and every day I had with my mom, as a gift from above, not knowing what the future would bring. LEARNING TO EMBRACE LIFE in adverse circumstances has been one of life’s greatest lessons and gifts to me! And just maybe, being in this unwelcome place of being “stuck” helped me to see more clearly and appreciate more dearly, everything I had at that time.
Once the lights went on and I made a conscious decision to start living my life a different way, a life that would be filled with hope and strength, rather than doom and gloom; it was then, I could write down what I wanted my life as a caregiver and daughter to look like! What did it look like to me, to be the most “awesome” loving, supportive, encouraging daughter, a mom could ever want? I had to paint a clear picture for myself before I could go after it! I even asked my mom to tell me what the most awesome daughter would look like to her. And I am SO GLAD I asked because I wanted her to live the best life possible. Then I put together a plan, built around her perspective on what an awesome daughter would be like, complete with daily action steps on how I was going to be that daughter. And over the next 19 months I stayed on my path and became that daughter to her! One of the most exceptional strategic plans I have ever created!
A shift in focus and perspective can certainly make a difference in your life when it comes to life’s challenges, it did in mine! That is what I love about coaching; those “aha moments” when the lights go and you can see the picture clearly and in color! You start to see your situation differently, from a new perspective, one you didn’t have before! You go from being “stuck” in a place you don’t want to be, to living your life with intension and purpose again! You start moving in a direction that will bring more happiness, peace and contentment your way!
Do you feel “stuck” in a place you don’t want to be? What is your plan and strategy to get “unstuck” I would love to hear your story!
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