More bad news came that day for Lindsey. All along, Landon, her husband, kept telling her, “our finances are great, we are in real good shape.” But earlier, she had seen on his desk some of the overdue bills and final notices. The water was turned off the month before, there were credit cards not being paid off and he was always nagging at her about spending money on the kids, unlike before. Nothing made sense to her. He told her their daughter’s private school tuition was all paid up…but that day she received a call from the school’s billing dept. No payments had been made for 4 months…that was the last straw!
Lindsey was furious and frustrated. She couldn’t figure out why Landon was not being honest with her. He was the one in charge of the finances in the family, and he never gave her a reason not to trust him. More red flags started popping up over the next few days and she began to catch Landon in one lie after the other, until she couldn’t take it any longer…she had a right to know what was going on!
At first Landon said everything would be fine, he was working on it right now and she shouldn’t worry. He didn’t want to tell her what really happened, but she gave him no choice. His company was hit hard because of the local economy and Landon had been struggling with his sales job. The money was not coming in like it had been in years prior, a common story for many. Ashamed at how he had been dipping into the savings, because of the reduced income he had been bringing home, he chose to cover it up thinking things would soon get better and business would pick up again soon. But it didn’t. Lindsey, was not so understanding and felt deceived and made out to be a fool. She couldn’t figure out why his shame would keep her from being able to help them cut back and save, after all didn’t she have a right to know? Landon’s dishonesty had caused Lindsey to lose total trust in him and she no longer believed anything he said, especially when it came to their finances. Their relationship was rapidly heading south and she needed to do something about it fast!
It’s true… The act of lying to someone, does more damage to the relationship than what you are actually lying to them about! Something happens to a relationship when you have been lied to…the deception damages the bond between the two of you and everything starts to fall apart. People deceive each other in many ways, partial truths, leaving out details “omission”, or flat out intentional lying! Since honesty is part of trust…if you lie, you lose trust with the person you lie to. Lack of trust plays havoc on relationships.
What if your spouse tells you he is going on a business trip and you find out it was a trip to meet a bunch of guys from college to hang out for the weekend? What are you most upset about? The fact he went somewhere to have a good time with the guys, OR the fact he deliberately lied to you about it? Most likely you would have understood his need for some “boy bonding,” but the lies…not so easy to understand. What about the money issue in the case of Lindsey and Landon. What if Landon would have told Lindsey the truth about their financial situation before she had to find out the hard way? Lindsey would have been in much better shape to handle the news about the finances. She could have been upset, disappointed and flat out angry at the situation, but she would have learned to understand his job situation and they together could have come up with solutions. Instead the lies, lack of trust, embarrassment and humiliation took priority over the slow sales and financial decline. The potential to work your way through circumstances is much easier when honesty and trust takes the priority seat! Don’t let lies and deceit become a major factor in your relationships, head them off at the pass before they happen…tell the truth…your relationship will thank you!
If you want to know what to do if you have been lied to read my post “8 Tips for Dealing with First Time Liars”.
Have you been deceived by someone you trusted? Please share your story!
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