Katie scurried back into the wedding reception eager to hit the dance floor again. She raced over to her seat and put down her purse, then, grabbed her water to replenish the sweat she had lost from the nonstop dancing with her husband that evening! Katie and Kyle had been happily married for 6 years, have two toddlers and having fun to the two of them, was dancing the night away!
Katie looked around the room for Kyle and as soon as she spotted him, she froze, her glass falling to the floor shattering everywhere! She could NOT believe what she saw. There on the dance floor was Kyle with his arms around one of the bridesmaids. He was holding her so close to him, air couldn’t possibly have fit between the two. Now cheek to cheek, Kyle started to rub her bare back, which sent Katie into orbit! She left all the glass on the floor and ran from the back of the room onto the dance floor as she watched her husband start grinding with someone she had never seen before tonight.
Katie made such a scene as sparks of jealousy were flying about the room, accusing Kyle of violating their marriage vows, and his behavior was unacceptable and humiliating to her. Kyle jumped right in combatting and accusing her of overreacting because he was just having fun dancing until she got back. Well the fun was over, the night was over they left, and the two did battle for days!
Does this scenario Sound familiar? Could this scene have been avoided? YES! If the two had sat down with each other at some point in their marriage, and discussed and set “Boundaries” when it comes to the opposite sex, they would both know what was acceptable and what was not acceptable with another guy or gal. There would be no question, each would know right from wrong because they set the boundary together! If they choose to violate the boundary knowing it was wrong… well that’s a different story.
The obvious, keeping his hands off, was not clear to Kyle being the fun loving, flirtatious, outgoing, attention seeking guy he was and he truly believed he was not in the wrong. Katie holding on to the fact, guys should know right from wrong and it shouldn’t have to be spelled out for them, kept her fire burning. Why leave a gray area in your relationships and set someone up for failure, especially when it’s avoidable? Spell it out, set the boundary, be clear and concise so there is no room for question!
How are you handling the “hands on, hands off” boundaries in your romantic relationships, especially in marriage? Have the two of you sat down and discussed what’s ok and not ok? Never assume the other knows for sure! If you haven’t, I strongly encourage you to take the time and ask this simple question:
What is acceptable and not acceptable, when it comes to interactions with the opposite sex, in our relationship? Define the boundaries together and make sure they are clear and concise without room for debate! Avoid the avoidable and set yourselves and your relationships up for a win/win! DEFINED, CLEAR BOUNDARIES ARE ESSENTIAL IN YOUR QUEST A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!
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