Jena had lied to Ron over and over about their finances…Ron no longer trusts Jena. Bill cheated on Lisa…Lisa no longer trusts Bill. Sarah’s boss betrayed her, she no longer trusts him. Your teen stole money from you, the trust is gone, and the list goes on and on! When trust in a relationship is no longer there, the relationship changes, and not for the better! The instant you utter these 5 life changing words, “I DO NOT TRUST YOU,” your relationship starts heading in a downward spiral…and fast! LOSING TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP IS DEVASTATING! Here’s the big question…once trust is lost in a relationship, can you ever get it back?
I recently read an article from lifescript called, “Maintaining Trust And Honesty In A Relationship,” which talked about broken trust and whether it can be restored in our relationships or not.
In the article, they said, “Trust is not something you can just flick on and off; it has to be earned over time. Deal with the indiscretion, or lie, or whatever it is that’s caused the bond of trust to fail, and then move on from it. Allow your partner a chance to redeem himself, and then react to what he actually does, rather than what you think he has done.”
From my experience, without trust in a relationship, the relationship will slowly start to wither away. However, this does not generally include parent/teen relationships because as parents it is our job to continually work on trust, regardless of our teens choices, although trust may have dwindled.
If two people make a decision to work together on the reason the trust was lost in the first place, then you should allow the one who lost trust to redeem themselves over time. This will increase the chances your trust will be rebuilt. When trying to rebuild trust, keep these tips in mind!
- To find trust again will take time and cannot be rushed
- The rebuilding process will require the effort of both people involved
- There must be a willingness to forgive the person for breaking the trust, to give them a second chance
- The person who broke the trust must ask for forgiveness, really mean it, and be willing to make the necessary changes so it NEVER happens again!
BROKEN TRUST is one of the biggest road blocks in a relationship! But as long as the two of you are totally committed to working at rebuilding the trust every single day, the road block is only temporary! There is so much hope! I see many relationships that were suffering from lost trust, find trust with one another once again! You do not have to be controlled by your past hurts. You can in time, build up the trust of someone who has lost it in your relationship! The ability to trust is both a choice and a skill that you can develop! Be patient with yourself and with your relationship and the hard work will really pay off in the end!
How do you cope with lost trust in relationships? Have you ever been in a relationship where trust was lost and regained? Tell us your story…
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