The 5 Shades of Lying

ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A LIAR? Nothing stings more than being lied to, especially if it’s by someone you really care about. While, a lie IS a lie, no matter what kind of lie it is…these lies come in different shades and are measured on how damaging and habitual they tend to be. Check out these 5 shades of lies… I want to pass them on to you so you will have this information when you need it!

1. White Lies – So-called “white lies” generally mean deliberate lies which have no victim or no intended victim. For example:
   1. Telling your children about Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.
   2. Telling your kids that they did a great job the first time they tried to dress themselves.
   3. Telling your girlfriend that those jeans don’t make her look fat.
   4. Telling your host that she served a delicious meatloaf – when she didn’t.”
2. Self-Serving Lies
   This is your basic, old-fashioned fib. The most common form of lying is self-serving and infrequent. This kind of lying is done by just about everybody and is usually motivated by a desire to get something you want or to get out of something you don’t want.
   Children instinctively learn to lie from about the age of 4 or 5 when asked loaded questions like “did you wash your hands already?”, “did you eat that cookie?” or, “did you hit your brother?”. Most of us develop the skill of lying into adulthood. We don’t do it any less – we just get better at hiding it.
3. Dissociative Lying
   “Dissociation is a psychological term used to describe a mental departure from reality. People who dissociate believe – believe (partially) what they are saying is true. Dissociative liars can be thought of as people who also deceive themselves when they tell a lie. As they are speaking, they may not be fully aware that what they are saying can be shown to contradict objective truths, verifiable facts, or statements they may have made in the past.”
4. Compulsive Liars and Compulsive Lying
   A compulsive liar is someone who habitually lies over and over again.
   “A compulsive liar is a person who is addicted to lying. Compulsive liars are people for whom lying feels like emotional safe ground compared to telling the truth. Compulsive lying is less self-centered or manipulative in nature than other kinds of lying. Compulsive lying is not oriented so much toward serving a person’s long term self-interest as it is doing what feels good at the time. Compulsive liars may tell lies, exaggerate, distort or bend the truth in ways which get themselves and others into unnecessary trouble.”
5. Pathological Liars and Pathological Lying
   “Pathological Lying – Persistent deception by an individual to serve their own interests and needs with little or no regard to the needs and concerns of others. A pathological liar is a person who habitually lies to serve their own needs.
   Pathological lying is similar to selfish lying, while being more pervasive. A Pathological Liar has a greater disregard for the effect their dishonesty has on others, resulting in a more destructive impact. A Pathological Liar may often be accused of being self-centered, manipulative and controlling.”

No matter what kind of lie or liar you face in your relationship…do not let it play havoc on your self-esteem and self-worth! In my next blog post I will give you some “TIPS FOR DEALING WITH FIRST TIME LIARS.” Lying, whether intentional or not, must be stopped if you want to have a healthy, happy, content relationship with someone!

Have you been lied to by someone you love? I would love to hear your story and how it affected you!