No matter where you are at in your relationship right now…whether it is hitting rock bottom, like Kendra and Kurt, or in a state of smooth sailing…it is never too late to take these important steps to affair proof your relationships. Please do it, while you still have a chance to…even if you are right in the middle of a major crisis, protect what you still have, while you try to get back on track!
When you are hurting, feeling lonely, unloved, angry, resentful or let down…your relationship is vulnerable and an easy target for an affair. Awesome Relationships don’t just happen, they take time and effort. If you want a great partner in the relationship it is so important to be a great partner…they will follow your example…I found these 8 very simple steps from Dr. Phil to be very helpful when it comes to affair proofing your marriage:
- Turn “toward” your partner not away. You absolutely cannot fix a problem inside a relationship by turning outward. All that does is create problems.
- Don’t play games in your head. It is a short step from thought to action.
- Don’t confuse reality with fantasy. We often forget that there’s a difference between falling in love and being in love. You can’t expect a love that grows to be like it was on the first date.
- If you want to have a good partner, be a good partner. Put 100 percent into your marriage.
- Is your marriage in a rut? “Bored people are boring,” Find a passion, get energized, find some time together to rediscover the love and commitment you have for one another.
- Work on your marriage every single day “not just during the bad times. Wake up each day and ask yourself, “What can I do today that will make my marriage better.”
- Make a plan together to renegotiate your relationship. If you’ve gotten off track, it’s never too late to get back to a better place.
- Take care of yourself. Eat healthy, exercise and look your best. Feeling good about yourself will radiate and your spouse will notice.
All of these are great steps to affair proofing your relationships! The one I find most important, yet, the hardest for people to follow is step #1… “Turn “toward” your partner not away. You absolutely cannot fix a problem inside a relationship by turning outward. All that does is create problems”
When we go through tough and challenging times in our marriages or romantic relationships, we often go outside the marriage and into the world to find our fix…its easy to do when we are reacting to the pain someone caused us.
Sometimes we turn to a variety of “quick fixes” such as alcohol or drugs among a few, to medicate our painful issues (like Kendra did in my previous 2 posts). But it’s only temporary before the next fix is needed.
Many times we turn to our friends looking for attention, sympathy and compassion for a bruised and injured ego, so we trash talk the ones we love looking to be heard and validated…Kendra did.
Some of us also turn to friends or co-workers and unexpectedly, wind up in affairs ourselves. Because we were hurting so bad, and not feeling loved, we became perfect targets when someone came along and showed us the love and attention our spouse or boyfriend was not giving us.
If you find yourself in a challenging romantic relationship, PLEASE turn towards each other, not away from them! Then use your communication skills to try and understand what went array and what needs to be repaired.
Then together, come up with a plan to repair the relationship…a plan which does not involve people who don’t have the best interest of the relationship at heart.
If you find your relationship may be at risk for an affair and is in need of some affair proofing, then please try these 8 helpful tips! If you find your relationship needs something more than just tips…. I would love to help you navigate your way back to a healthy relationship!
Remember…take the time to invest in your most important relationships, by working on them every single day! Your return will be greater and so worth it!
What are you doing to work on your relationships on a daily basis?
0 comments