“Do unto others before they do unto you.” Remember the days when we would proudly walk around flaunting our t-shirts sprouting an alligator with a screw going straight through its chest? And at the bottom of the t-shirt in bold print was the phrase, “Do unto other’s BEFORE they do unto you.” My brother had one, did you? Whether intentional or not, we were taught at a young age to lookout for #1, be on the defense, and “get” them before they “get” us!
Many have modified the real “Golden Rule” which really says, “Do unto others AS you would have them do unto you,” and have carried this into our adult relationships, partnerships, and marriages. Some of us have even taught our children to live by the “Alligator Rule” just to protect them from the injustices of the world, right? We have all been ingrained with phrases like, “Put yourself first,” “always watch your back,” “be on the lookout for the hidden agenda,” “nobody does anything just to be nice,” or “if I don’t look out for #1 no one else will,” and the big one, “It’s all about me!”
If you find yourself in a challenging relationship, go back to the basics and take a look at your implementation of the “Golden Rule?” Do you follow the Golden Rule by treating others the way you want them to treat you or do you follow the “Alligator Rule?” You may be watching your back but are you also watching your spouse’s, partners, kids, and co-worker’s back too? You may be looking out for #1, but who do you really want to be #1 in your life? We all need to be reminded of this regularly and take a really good look at how we treat the people around us and ask ourselves these four easy questions:
- Am I always putting my needs before the needs of people I really care about?
- Do I treat others with respect, courtesy and kindness?
- What would it look like if I started treating my partner, spouse, kids or co-workers the way I would like them to treat me?
- Would your life look different if you followed the Golden Rule more than the Alligator? Would it give you a better life?
The “Golden Rule” is simple, yet we find it so hard to live by in our relationships. The best place to start making changes in your relationships is by taking a good look at how you actually treat the people in your life! Remember, a little bit of kindness goes a very long way in a relationship…and you will love the rewards!
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