Rick walks through the door looking frazzled and exhausted! Maria can tell, it’s been a tough day for him. His cranky demeanor doesn’t bother her a bit, because she has a surprise for him and knows it will cheer him up! Maria runs over to the table and grabs the gift all nicely wrapped in shiny blue colored paper. She catches him in the hall, bypassing his attempt for a hug or kiss. She hides the gift behind her back and with excitement and says “I bought you a treat today!”
Tim continues down the hall, Maria following him into his office. Before he even has a chance to put down his computer and take of his coat, Maria says, “what’s the matter, aren’t you excited?” “It’s been a tough day Maria… what do you have there” Rick says, as he tries again to steal a hug from her. Maria quickly pulls the gift out from behind her back, blocking the hug he is attempting. She hands it to him and he slowly opens up the gift… an adorable little ceramic black lab puppy spouting a tag that says “I love you so much!” “Thanks, its cute” Rick says as he sets the puppy down on his desk and makes another attempt for a hug. Maria steps away totally offended, “You don’t like it… you just looked at it for one second and put it down…do you know how hard it was to find something like that” she explains feeling rejected, then turns away? Maria walks back in the kitchen to make dinner feeling so disappointed and hurt. They hardly talked at all that night, both feeling rejected and unloved, but not really knowing why.
Obviously Tim and Maria hit a road block that evening, neither one, knowing the love language each other spoke! Communication is key if we want our relationships to survive and thrive! According to Author Gary Chapman, there are five different love languages or ways to communicate love:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Receiving gifts
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
Maria had a primary love language…GIFTS! She felt most love when someone would give her a gift. She felt she was showing her love for someone by giving them a gift. She would put a lot of time, thought and effort into finding or making just the right gift for someone. She knew they would feel loved and special when they opened it!
What Maria didn’t realize is the following: receiving a gift may not be the way everyone feels loved and cared for. Sure, we all love receiving gifts at times, but, many people may feel loved with a few affirming words, a favor, a hug or just simply spending quality time with them. If Maria truly wanted to show Tim how much she loved and cared for him, in a way he would truly feel loved and adored, she would speak his love language…which was physical touch! If Maria knew his preferred language, all she would need to do is give Rick the hug he was longing for when he walked in the door, and instantly, he would feel loved…the gift would have been an added bonus!
Many people feel loved through “words of affirmation.” They love to hear those positive, uplifting, motivating, appreciative and encouraging words either spoken to them directly, in a card, note, text, e-mail, phone call…affirming words steal their heart every time! Others feel loved when you spend quality time with them or do something nice for them. Many people need close proximity and physical touch in some way to feel loved, like Tim!
Do you know what your primary (preferred) love language is? When do you feel most loved? How about your spouse, partner, boss, kids and friends? Make the choice to invest the time and explore how the most important people in your life want to be loved by you!
Your love will make an impact and it will go so much further when you decide to start speaking their Love Language!
Here is a simple way To discover your “Love Language”…I encourage everyone to check this out.
Then let me know what your results are! WAS IT WHAT YOU WERE EXPECTING?
For more information on Love Languages, this is an excellent resource.
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